2013 Poetry Theme Challenges

#09 It'll Never Catch On

I remember some 20 years ago watching a TV documentary on computers for the home and thinking - nope, that will never catch on! How wrong was I? As poets on Tir na nog we are all using the idea I thought would never catch on. So the theme challenge is the computer. Modern tech has given us so much, and made the world a smaller place but it does go wrong. So for this challenge share your joys and pains of computing.

Happy quilling to you all

Jemmy
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The Ape at the End of the Phone

I tried to send my love to you
By Electronic Mail.
They returned my Prestel Smoochogram:
Why do I always fail?
I want to blow a kiss to you
But I find my cover's blown.
I'm worse than hit-or-miss to you.
I'm the Ape at the End of the Phone.

They handed me an Apple,
It yielded twenty bytes
And yet I went bananas
When I had you in my sights.
An Apricot was thrust at me
But it only made me groan.
I never thought you trusted me,
I'm the Ape at the End of the Phone.

I lifted the receiver;
There was nothing to receive.
I'm the original Old Adam
And you're the original Eve.
I'm Joseph and you're Mary
And yet I feel alone.
Is it because I'm hairy?
I'm the Ape at the End of the Phone.

I thought that my insistence
Would charm the operator,
But when I order: 'Long Distance!'
She tells me to ring back later.
I've tried the gentlest murmur.
I've used a megaphone.
It's a Birmingham number, not Burma.
I'm going Ape at the End of this Phone.

James Fenton and John Fuller