2011 Poetry Form Challenge

#23 Luc Bat

A lot of poets enjoy writing in Tri meter (Three feet) or six sound units and Tetra meter (Four feet) or eight sound units and so this form should make a reasonable challenge for them. Some of you who prefer lyric style poetry might find this form useful as well as challenging because it lends itself quite nicely to some styles of story telling also.

The Luc Bat is a Vietnamese form of poetry, which simply means six eight. You can see there was an influence by the French as it was The Colony of Indo China before it became Vietnam. It was introduced into Europe by the French, but for some reason never became popular. I cannot understand why as it is challenging without being too difficult.

The odd lines (1,3,5,etc) are six sound units and the even lines (2,4,6 etc) are eight sound units long, hence the title. The rhyming scheme is simple also. The last word (sixth sound unit) of the odd lines rhymes with the sixth sound unit of the even line and the eighth sound unit rhymes with the sixth unit of the next odd line. The final even line, linking back to the first line. I'm sure you can see the French influence here. A twelve line poem would have a pattern like that shown below.

OOOOOA
OOOOOAOB
OOOOOB
OOOOOBOC
OOOOOC
OOOOOCOD
OOOOOD
OOOOODOE
OOOOOE
OOOOOEOF
OOOOOF
OOOOOFOA

See how the rhyme links back. There is no set length, nor is there any requirement to finish on an even line, just so long as there is a link back. Here is an example I wrote as an exercise

A Luc Bat Poem

A luc bat poem is such
You need not say so much at all
Simple words can enthral
It can be simple and small or big
An epic thingamajig
Alter words make them fig or fit
The poetic licence bit
Just like that line of **** or ****
Whatever, give it a bash
Now my mind I must thrash and beat
And turn these humble feet
So first and last line meet and touch

Ryter Roethicle

Luc Bat Alternatives

The basic luc bat can be a four liner, hence what I was saying about being very versatile cause although there is only 4 lines there are two rhymes but unlike the European Quad each rhyme is used 3 times. Some would say this form is very Celtic, but used as quatrains it has possiblilities and can be used in a conventional European way to construct stanza.
OOOOOA
OOOOOAOB
OOOOOB
OOOOOBOA
The basic luc bat can be a four liner, hence what I was saying about being very versatile cause although there is only 4 lines there are two rhymes but unlike the European Quad each rhyme is used 3 times. Some would say this form is very Celtic, but used as quatrains it has possiblilities and can be used in a conventional European way to construct stanza.
OOOOOA
OOOOOAOB
OOOOOB
OOOOOBOC
OOOOOC
OOOOOCOA
A similar possibility occurs with 6 lines, we have a sestet but another one occurs as well, that of the Italian sonnet. The combination of an octave and a sestet and so the rhyme scheme will probably go:
OOOOOA
OOOOOAOB
OOOOOB
OOOOOBOC
OOOOOC
OOOOOCOD
OOOOOD
OOOOODOA

OOOOOE
OOOOOEOF
OOOOOF
OOOOOFOG
OOOOOG
OOOOOGOE
But combined as 14 lines, like the true Italian:


Luc Bat Replies

Maryse Achong

Luc Bat Labour

Kathy Anderson

First Love

Divena Collins

Black Stockings
Chatterbox
Crazy Love
Cuddly Tots
Dungeon of Hell
Dying Embers
Ladies Prayer
Of Eternal Love
Patience With Calm
Peace With Serenity
Prayer Of Love
Raven
Tir na nOg

Etain Druantia

Butterflies Dance
Driftwood
Tongue In Cheek

Jem Farmer

A Spear Through Cloud
Chimes the Found
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night
Music Without Tone
Thoughts at Sea

Yuletide Love

Ivor Hogg

Warriors Dream

Ryter Roethicle

Pan Sonnet Series 1 - 5

Beyond Eternity
Family Dinner
Happy Waltz
Penang Beach
Question of Patience
Soulmates
Thy Music
Time Spent
Wine

Leny Roovers

Beasts of Terror
Close to me
Dreams of You
On the Plane
You and Me
Your Love



Maryse Achong

Luc Bat Labour

The challenge's almost done
And it seems I have run right out
Of time and left with doubt
It really makes me pout, this form
It is far from the norm.
I feel the rules swarm all around
To confuse and astound
Me, 'til I'm almost drowned in words
This must be for the birds.
I hear stampeding herds of verse
Bearing instructions terse
I guess it could be worse, I've won.

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Kathy Anderson

First Love

When love finds a young girl
She thinks this pal is fine,
That any hue is sign
But souls aren't wine and bread
So some may lose their head
To fair felt reddened blush,
For feelings, no thoughts rush,
Instead they hush and twine first
Sure this one is true thirst.
Though the quaff went down fast,
To young to know minds cast
Shall each not last the quirl?



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Divena Collins

Black Stockings

Black stockings cant go wrong
Not even with a sexy thong in black
For she will never ever lack
She certainly has the knack to lure
Her motives are demure
Tho` she may seem so pure of mind
She is one of a kind
No doubt he will find out very soon
When a lady plays his tune
He shall howl to the moon with Joy
She has found her toy boy
A tease in black can do no wrong.



-----

Chatterbox

There`s no joy in sorrow
For no one shall borrow the pain
There is nothing to gain
To repeat a refrain once more
For that could be a bore
They shall only ignore it by choice
Persistance of that voice
Why dont they rejoice now instead
It just had to be said
So gently they tread lest she hears
Why must there be these fears
Shall be here to chatter tomorrow.



-----

Crazy Love

The closest thing to crazy
When misted eyes are hazy with love
The funny things we speak of
Of silly little words thereof to please
That createth much to tease
Makes lovers feel at ease together
Crazy tho` its true whatever
They may do, they forever create fun
Both hearts are crazy as one
And so love doth run without shame
For they both feel the same
Desires to ignite a flame so crazy.



-----

CuddlyTots, Nursery Rhyme`s

Once upon a nursery rhyme
When mothers had the time to read
Childs dreams were in need
Wonders of fantasy feed the mind
Pictures of another kind
With images that unwind to dream
Faerie tales it may seem
May stimulate a theme of fiction
A calming of tension
Thus the attention of an eager child
How cheerfully they smiled
Their fantasy beguiled one more time
Once upon a nursery rhyme.



-----

Dungeon of Hell

Black the clouds that enfold
Shaded images that hold much fear
Drawing menacingly near
Silent, nothing to hear only a tap
Drip, dripping of serum sap
Dregs from violent mishaps of fate
She had ventured too late
Through a dungeons gate of hell
No one survived to tell
But for echos from a well of doom.
Of bats in silent gloom
As spider webs loom to enfold.



-----

Dying Embers

In the stillness of night
A fading tallow light so tame
Now a flickering flame
Lovers play the same of desire
That which was once a fire
Ends up a spent pire of embers
But future remembers
They were loving members of fate
Who had started too late
But as time could not wait to try
Chances passed them by
But spirits will never die this night.




Dying Swan. art work by Vladimir Tretchikof
-----

A Ladies Prayer

I praye my Lorde of vanity
And thank thee for clarity of mind
That thy shalt be so kind.
For ever as I find you the same
I spareth thee of shame
And taketh no blame for frivolity
Nor of feckless jollity,
Nor decline in quality of speach
Nor wicked tongue teach
I hear what thy preach within book
For I hath ne-er forsook
Nor shalt I overlook my sanity.




Painting Of Lady Hamilton, Lord Nelsons Mistress.
-----

Of Eternal Love

Come to me love divine
Pray tell me thou art mine this night
We shall seek eternal light
Thro mist of time lies bright the future
Once more we shalt nurture
Inducing heavenly culture to love
When the angels sigh above
Shall we both then cry out in ecstacy
Or is it only in fantasy.
We know we have been here before
Danced thro` paradise doors
To embrace eternally of love divine.



-----

Patience With Calm --- Luc Bat Sonnet

Time has been part of us
Whether early on time or too late
Just a question of fate
No precious time to wait at all
Has to be there on call
Impatience may fall from stature
A part of human nature
Wonders of natures cures invented
That future prevented
But aroma`s of a scented calm
Within a soothing balm
Should do nobody any harm but good
No inclination to brood
Creating a calming mood for us.



-----

Peace With Serenity --- Luc Bat Sonnet

By the calm of the ocean
How gentle the motion of waves
Foaming of tides thro` caves
Playful water nymphs brave the tide
Upon crests of surf they ride
`Neath a full moon to guide them thro`
Gently the breezes blew
Over a wide ocean of blueish green
Mermaids were to be seen
Basking the rocks serene of mind
It was there they did find
Perfect peace a kind of emotion
For love and devotion
Within calm of the deep blue ocean.




Art Work by J. W. Waterhouse
-----

Prayer Of Love

If It please thee my Lord
On thy hilt of thy sword pray oath
May God be with us both
I honour thee to betroth this love
Verily I shalt pray thereof
Unto the heavens above for a sign
For my true love divine.
Shalt he mayhaps be mine this day
For this I alone shalt pray
Shalt it be aye or nay together
If only we wouldst ever
Both Cherish one and other forever.



-----

Raven

Upon the wings of passion
Soaring `neath a cushion of clouds
Black of feathers enshroud
So noble of head held proud and high
He glides across the sky
Keen within eyes that pry for prey
He must nourish this day
The most natural way to survive
He that was born to thrive
Just to stay alert, and avid to seek
Fresh flesh betwixt his beak
He that suffers not compassion.



-----

Tir na nOg

Elvin dance thro` forests green
Woodwind pipes now serene upon glades
`Neath the fullest moons shades
Celtic fantasy songs that fades with dew
Notes of rays that start anew
What joy melodies grew within hearts
Arise fair spirit music starts
Dance `fore a cloud parts of darkness
How pure doth music caress
Of gentle tones that stress shall give
Celtic songs chant to relive
Upon forest woodland alive and green.



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Etain Druantia

Butterflies Dance

Butterflies dance, knees quake,
restless, disturbed, awake, I wait,
for Life has shown my Fate
and so to future mate I fly,
not once to question why.
Mom sighed when I said bye to her,
but knows our love is pure;
yes, my heart is quite sure of him-
this is no foolish whim.
Green eyes meet blue, both brim with love,
one lifetime not enough
True love stands out above the rest-
we passed this trying test...
Now two as one our nest we make.

-----

Driftwood

We've drifted beyond reach
lonely wood on a beach of tears
misshapen by life's fears,
accumulated years of pain
grounded by tides again
worn down by driving rain, fierce breeze,
relentless, tossing seas
bursting in waves do tease and play
lunge at bleached bones each day
unmoved we keep away from light
shadows hide, dim clear sight
blind to hope shining bright, dead beech.

-----

Tongue In Cheek

"Here's a new challenge for you.
Post your attempt when through with it."
Don't throw creative fit-
just work on it bit by bit, just try,
no need for being shy.
Don't bother asking why, just do.
I write mine on the loo.
Some good, some bad, all true they are;
right folded some fly far.
Then there's those in the car I write,
now those are rather trite.
Yet still I post my blight online-
you'll always say it's fine,
you'd never dare my rhymes eschew.

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Jem Farmer

A Spear Through Cloud

As voices call aloud
Bring it forth through the crowd, young men,
Amid the tales of then,
Through valley and wild glen we call,
Bring light and love to all,
Lift winter’s icy shawl from earth,
To celebrate a birth,
With our laughter and mirth, inspire,
All that we should desire,
To light the Pagan fire of Yule,
One log that is the fuel,
The Sun King shall soon rule the year,
An end of darkness, near,
And dawn’s first ray, a spear through cloud.



-----

Chimes the Found

It's beginning the way,
The dawn of a new day of dreams,
That echo flowing streams,
And mystery now seems to sound,
The bell that chimes the found,
As feet step on the ground then wend,
The soul becomes a friend
As will begins to bend with need,
Those wantings dare to feed,
Planted a simple seed of thought,
And thus, the heart is caught,
While senses flame and taut reveal
There is more to love's deal,
When we hear what we feel can say.

-----

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

A flash lit up the sky,
As thunder grumbled by the rain,
My heart lay gripped with pain,
My mind going insane this way,
Hot and cold air at play,
While dreamings drift and sway around,
The wayward thoughts abound,
Where love dared not be found instead,
The dreams came in my head
And in this storm to bed I’ll go,
For wonderings I know
Allow not love to grow within,
For fear that would be sin,
Yet thunder, my chagrin, still roars
As lightning kissed rain pours
Cleansing the muddied floors of why!



-----

Music Without Tone

I can’t let go of you
One love forever true we share,
I cannot begin to dare
To say the words of care when asked,
Our love was made to last,
Yet time seems wide and vast alone,
Like music without tone,
My heart beats on its own while tears
Are hidden by veneers.
And lies that passing years will ease.
I still sit beneath trees,
Where once we heard the breeze and cried,
For love we were denied,
And there we gently sighed the pledge,
Before the veil placed its wedge.
Now I stand at the edge of dreams,
Alone neath lunar beams,
My heart can only scream in pain,
As tears disguised as rain
Fall down my cheeks again for you.

-----

Thoughts at Sea

To gaze upon the sea,
All emotions float free away,
In the tidal affray,
White horses roll and play each night,
As dreams, again take flight,
Making love, taking fright and lo!
Refreshing tidal flow,
Reveals what is to know and more,
Embracing the sea shore,
Destiny comes before the eye,
Looking towards the sky
Where new horizons lie and wait,
Here I accept my fate,
Destiny shall create a new,
As waves rolled and winds blew,
In this place where once you loved me.



-----

Yuletide Love

Gentle flakes, flurried flight,
Float in the last light of the sun,
Just before skies are dun
For Yuletide has begun with bells
Ringing out across the fells,
Once again, the story tells of birth
Amid the festive mirth
So life all o'er the Earth returns
Upon the ground fire burns
The goddess never spurns her child,
A Pagan heart beating wild,
In darkness, she has smiled tonight.



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Ivor Hogg

Warriors Dream

Under a shady tree
Is the best place to be
Listening for the tune.
Granted as a boon to men
Who long for peace again
The hear now and then, the breeze.
Singing among the trees
A song certain to please
Music which will relieve their fears
Clear every worry from their mind
All that is left behind.
Peace they may only find:Rarely.

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Ryter Roethicle

Pan.. Sonnet Series

- 1 -

When the world is new born
Sun's scattered seeds are sown and fall
On ground no good at all
Yet see some fruit grow tall and lush
Berries ripe on every bush.
And other life forms push through earth
As day starts giving birth
Playing, wondering the worth of man
Why the Gods created Pan
How he fits in the plan or scheme
What's the heavenly dream?
Wondering is their theme a jest
As the sun finds earths crest
You harken to him best at dawn.

- 2 -

Now, hear his spirits rise
Each time he greets the prize of morn
Out of darkness is torn
Pan's gift of newly born, bright day.
Music helping blow away
Cobwebs of a yesterday of sin
Weakness of human kin
Each fresh morning begin anew
End of night bids adieu
Smiling waiting the new daybreaks
Never the same mistakes
But everyone still makes the same
The nature of the game
Dawn's a picture frame disguise.

- 3 -

His finale at last,
All on Earths has passed to musk
The sun's a red dwarf husk
Last time, he plays at dusk his dirge
No more will feelings surge
No more has man the urge to fly
Weary now, time to die.
Nor is there need to cry, it's time.
No sun from the East climb
Life's clock a final chime then murk
Angels have done their work
All that time they didn't shirk and now
He stands, they fly in a row
Honouring as they go silent past

- 4 -

Again another bang
Just like the other sprang in site
New Universe fresh light
God shows us his might, again
Cosmos spurting semen
We see new suns begin to glow
New world begin to grow
New life begins to show and form
Sunlight reaches out to warm
See it begin to swarm and play
See him at break of day
The creatures listening sway at morn
Greeting the fresh new dawn
Beast or plant that's born or sprang.

- 5 -

Once I heard the piper play
It was the break of day so still
Beasts sitting on the hill
Listening to him until the end
Each united each a friend
Every silhouette did blend just then
Just now Earth is Heaven.
Angels listening with men at peace
Just for a while release
Pan has caused a cease to war
See them sit on the floor
How can anyone ignore this fact
Look there, a peaceful act
Why can't they make this pact today?



-----

Beyond Eternity (Italian Sonnet)

How much do I love thee
How much do I love thee
Just look and you will see how much.
Man has no measure as such
But becomes more each touch or look.
It says so in the book
And once caught can't unhook, ever
We will never sever, you'll see.
We will have our moments
Of upsets and torments, but know
In the end love will grow.
Realise there is a flow, a bond
That if we should respond
It will take us beyond moments.



-----

Family Dinner (Italian Sonnet)

There is no snow just heat
Winter admits defeat for now
So birds and pig and sow
Purchased with a sweaty brow today
On the 25th make its way
To families who will stay awhile
And to each other smile
Dining in a happy style and eat
Far more than what's normal
In a manner less formal this time
Family together is fine
Talking'n eating's no crime today
Everyone wants their say
It's the older form of gay and normal.



-----

Happy Waltz (Italian Sonnet)

Dancing in the rain-
Feeling the cold, the pain, cast down
From the sky- then the clown
Being cleansed as I drown my sense
Ridding emotions less dense
And the walls of defence, I'm free
To be who I wanna be
Knowing that you love me again.
Splashing puddles in joy
Believing I'm not a toy to you
Its time for another view
One with our debut together
Now time is just a blur
Spinning as we concur our joy.



-----

Penang Beach (Italian Sonnet)

Beside the gentle sea I sit
Feeling an easing of my wit
Normality returns a bit, I roar
How long will it be before
Chaos returns once more I wonder?
I'll not be dragged under
Casting stressors asunder, I see
I am in control of me.
The high tide laps as if answering
I may not know all things
I know when stress rings, ignore
I have been there before
I wont have any more today
I'm ignoring you, go away!



-----

Question of Patience (Sonnet)

What is the use of time?
Speed causes angers climb upwards.
Patience earns no rewards
Slowly moving towards your goal,
Knowing love makes you whole,
Prepared to pay the toll and more.
It's all that you asked for
A prize is at the core - sublime!
If you were in control
Would you feel more whole to do
What you always wanted to,
Or somehow always felt 'twas wrong
Following feelings too strong,
Or time took much too long, to feel whole?



-----

Soulmates (Quaterns)

Oh innocent victim
Finally you're at the brim of life
Know there will be no strife
And love will be so rife, not grim.

It's such a pleasant state
When a man's found his mate for keeps
Pleasure goes ahead in leaps
Then one day, see he weeps, it's Fate.

She has gone, she is dead
A fate all lovers dread, ever.
As soulmates bound together
In time they'll meet forever 'tis said.



-----

Thy Music (Italian Sonnet)

My music is thy hearts beat.
Thy words are songs so sweet I swoon
No way am I immune.
My song in time I croon with you
A duet matched by few.
But think nothing is new with love
'Cept the cast list'd above
There's no change we're kind of complete.
Realise we're like children
Who ignore all wise men because
They know only loves flaws
And say that we should pause awhile;
But all lovers just smile
Because they are beguiled again.



-----

Time Spent (Quatrains)

Eyes looking inviting
A simple kiss delighting, wants more
That kiss opened a door
Loves portal forevermore your 'Thing'.

That simple kiss started
Thoughts much more delighted, and so
From that we saw love grow
And now, certain we know, fears shed.

Time spent but not wasted
Touches with feather tipped finger
All dreams willingly linger
A simple harbinger tasted.

Eyes close but not in denial
As pleasures start to pile higher
You think you hear a choir
And it has also lit a fire, Eternal.

-----

Wine (Italian Sonnet)

Has less effect than you
Your kiss a headier brew, I know
So abundant in it's flow
So warming the afterglow I feel
It's affect like wine I reel
Too much, so much appeal so nice
And yet so cheap a price
For this exotic spice, from you.
You fill my glass freely
Offerings made sweetly it's said
From lips like wine so red
Drive senses from our head, until
We have lost all our will
Once again my glass I fill ideally.



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Leny Roovers

Beasts of Terror

In a dark, starless sky
Creatures of the night cry loudly
The sound is troubling me
Why don't they let me be this night?
Instead of causing fright
In this dark without light I hear
Shrieks of terror I fear
Knowing life is so dear to those
For whom death might be close
Life is a prickly rose at best
Its beauty mixed with jest
Until all comes to rest at last
And fear will then be past
I know the die is cast tonight
I hear the screams of fright
The beasts of terror light the sky.

-----

Close to me

I want to hold you close
Enfold you like a rose its stem
Protect you like a clam
Will shield its inner gem from hurt
Thus keep it free from dirt
By power or by word of force
And without much remorse
I shall uphold my source of love
So peaceful as a dove
Take care that nothing rough will meet
My sweet love's path or lead
Away from me the heat I chose

-----

Dreams

I dream of you at night
There burns a fire bright in me
Which makes me feel so free
This warming glow will be shared soon
Under a Southern moon
A starry sky a boon of fate
I meet at last my mate
We hope at any rate this much
Shall know for sure on touch
Then we will both know such sweet bliss
Forget that we did miss
To touch and hold and kiss for long
It made our love real strong
Nothing can now go wrong this night.

-----

On the Plane

Into the night I fly
I hear a baby crying loud
a mother gives a shout
a father takes it out of bed
some older children fret
they just want to be fed some more
though they have been before
flying is but a bore to them
all they can do is dram
the parents cannot hem them in
they look sheepish and grin
when their kids won't finish fast
so it's quiet at last
I slept, some hours passed, I wake
three more it then will take
it's quite a trip I make, no lie!

-----

Your Love

You are my peace of mind
With you I tend to find my rest
My happiness is best
When you love me with zest so great
We feel it is our fate
To love again this late in life
This time just love, no strife
Into its sea we dive with glee
It's great to feel so free
It's all I want to be today
Carefree and warm, we may
Enjoy this golden ray in kind.

-----

You and Me

I can feel you in me
Strong threads are between me and you
After all we went through
Love proved to be true at last
We did learn from the past
The hours will go fast until
The day we meet, such thrill
My heart beats so fast, will we match
I can feel my hands stretch
Out to you, when you fetch me from
The airport and welcome
Me, hold me, kiss warmly, see.

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