 
|
|
|
2008 Form Challenges
|
|
The Pantoum was originally a Malaysian form of poetry, but was adopted and adapted by the French and became very popular with them,
Fouinet, Hugo and Baudelaire, being amongst the foremost users of this form.
The French liked it probably because of the way the quatrains were linked to each other, making it similar to existing French forms. The rhyme pattern is as follows; A1, B1, A2, B2, ... B1, C1, B2, C2, etc, the last stanza being Z1, A2, Z2, A1, note the reversal of the final repeat couplet thus completeing the circle. Unlike most of these strict repeating forms if we retain the original Malaysian format, there is no set stanza count, syllable count, or need for the last stanza to repeat back to the first. This makes the Pantoum ideal for narratives that demand repetition or emphasis. The French tend to use an eight syllable count and repeat back to the first stanza. Here is a Malaysian example:
The final alternative closure is to use a new couplet E1. E2. This would be extremely useful in the Free Pantoum version. |
Pantoum Challenge Replies
|
Maryse AchongMy ‘mea culpas’ echo in my mind, They reach the ear of God who sits on high, He is a God of Love ,Forgiving, Kind, I trust He listens to my mournful cry. They reach the ear of God who sits on high, My laments and my self inflicted blame, I trust He listens to my mournful cry, I know He hears me when I call His name. My laments and my self inflicted blame, For all the things I’ve done or did not do, I know He hears me when I call His name And in my heart He answers "I love you". Despite the things I’ve done or did not do, He is a God of Love, Forgiving, Kind, And in my heart he answers "I love you", As ‘mea culpas’ echo in my mind. ----- Collateral Damage She’d known a world of warmth and love, Cocooned within her family, Now with an unexpected shove, She faced a harsh reality. Cocooned within her family, She’d never found herself alone, She faced a harsh reality, The day the bombs came raining down. She’d never found herself alone, Now burning rage within her stirs, The day the bombs came raining down, She swears that vengeance will be hers. Now burning rage within her stirs, Her mother, father, brother dead , She swears that vengeance will be hers, Next time she’ll take the lives instead. Her mother, father, brother dead, Enraged, bereaved, she feels forlorn, Next time she’ll take the lives instead; Another insurgent is born. Enraged, bereaved, she feels forlorn, Now with an unexpected shove Another insurgent is born: She’d known a world of warmth and love. ----- Converging Paths We had walked different roads, my love and I, Our life’s experiences had been distinct, We never understood the how and why Our paths converged, our lives were interlinked. Our life’s experiences had been distinct, This was a chance encounter ‘long the way, Our paths converged, our lives were interlinked, That’s how it is sometimes, the experts say. This was a chance encounter ‘long the way, And yet we paused, to listen and to share, That’s how it is sometimes the experts say And so we ended up being a pair. And yet we paused to listen and to share, It seemed to be the natural thing to do, And so we ended up being a pair, We had been blessed, at least that much we knew. It seemed to be the natural thing to do, But sometimes paths merge and then fork again, We had been blessed, at least that much we knew, In retrospect it was well worth the pain. But sometimes paths merge and then fork again, And we are left bewildered, angry, lost In retrospect it was well worth the pain, Though at the time it seemed too high a cost. And I was left bewildered, angry, lost, I never understood the how and why, I felt that we had paid too high a cost, When we walked different roads, my love and I . ----- Emancipation Day Emancipation Day, we celebrate The freeing of the slaves in our land , Now everybody can participate, All the festivities have been well planned. The freeing of the slaves in our land A time of bitter conflict and unrest; All the festivities have been well planned. No more will any voices be suppressed. A time of bitter conflict and unrest, Harsh actions were the order of the day ; No more will any voices be suppressed, And everyone’s entitled to their say, Harsh actions were the order of the day; Now everybody can participate , And everyone’s entitled to their say , Emancipation Day, we celebrate. ----- Fathers Day Father's Day has rolled around once more Dad, At times like this I'm always a bit blue, And though it is a day when I feel sad That's because I'm focused on missing you. At time like this I'm always a bit blue, No matter so many years have slipped by That's because I'm focused on missing you, And all the things that we shared, you and I. No matter so many years have slipped by, I have never forgotten what you taught, And all the things that we shared, you and I; There are some things that just cannot be bought I have never forgotten what you taught: I saw in you how good a man could be, There are some things that just cannot be bought, These things I've committed to memory. I saw in you how good a man could be; I knew that you had been a caring son, These things I've committed to memory, As a brother they rated you A1. I knew that you had been a caring son, As father and husband you were the best, As a brother they rated you AI, I recognize that we were truly blessed. As father and husband you were the best, And though it is a day when I feel sad, I recognize that we were truly blessed, As Father's Day rolls around once more Dad. ----- For Monica With no warning to anyone she left, No word uttered she simply slipped away, She left behind a family bereft; A sweet death is what some people would say. No word uttered she simply slipped away, A daughter, sister, wife and mother too; A sweet death is what some people would say, She passed on from this world with no ado. A daughter, sister wife and mother too, She'd given everything she had to give; She passed on from this life with no ado, She'd lived the life she was destined to live She'd given everything she had to give , She'd run her race, time for her now to rest, She'd lived the life she'd been destined to live, She'd faced her every challenge, every test.. She'd run her race, time for her now to rest, She left behind a family bereft, She'd faced her every challenge, every test With no waning to anyone, she left. ----- Rainy Season Flowers show off their faces everywhere, The rains have started and the earth is glad, But there are some who suffer every year, And consider this weather as plain 'bad.' The rains have started and the earth is glad, Though flash flood will cause many people grief, They consider this weather as 'plain bad', And when it's done they breathe sighs of relief. Though flash floods will cause many people grief, It seems that is how it has always been And when it's done they breathe sighs of relief, Whilst the island sports different shades of green. It seems that is how it has always been, That there are some who suffer every year, Whilst the island sports different shades of green, And flowers show their faces everywhere. back to list |
Lorainne DafneyYoung men will fight somewhere Where blood has shed before As one pure rose grows fair And men prepare for war Where blood has shed before It still brings tears of grief And men prepare for war It takes their life like a thief It still brings tears of grief As lonely sweethearts watch sunsets It takes their life like a thief Who march in synchronized steps As lonely sweethearts watch sunsets From young and innocent boys Who march in synchronized steps It randomly destroys From young and innocent boys It takes their brave souls It randomly destroys One by one they pay the ultimate toll It takes their brave souls As one pure rose grows fair One by one they pay the ultimate toll Young men will fight somewhere. back to list |
Kevin McKinneyThe lanes I trolled were always banked in clouds; Swells rolled away before me in the haze; I gimbaled 'round the world fast in my shrouds, 'Need of a spark to set my heart ablaze. Steep hills resolved before me in the haze; Had Avalon arisen from the mist? I grounded on her shores, my mind ablaze, And struggled to believe she might exist. If Avalon had risen from that mist, Whose will commanded thus, I could not tell; Still struggling to believe she could exist, I nonetheless drank deeply at her well. What spells were working there I could not tell; How all there flowing tasted honey sweet; Nor how a board appeared near to the well; All fancy, filled with fruit and bread and meat. A voice as clear as birdsong and as sweet, Invited me to take up residence; To have my fill of fruit and bread and meat, And leave my worldly cares to happenstance. Invited me to take up residence, And to commune in perpetuity; But dare I trust myself to happenstance Without knowing what country this might be? How so, commune in perpetuity In this, the island known as Avalon? I wondered of the voice how this might be; Would next we slip beneath the waves and gone? But laughing, no, this is not Avalon! Tell us; how long were you adrift at sea? No island this, and never shall be gone This mystic land of lasting constancy! I told of all my life adrift at sea, While never in one place for very long; I asked the nature of this constancy; No answer was forthcoming but a song; Though never in one place for very long, You never truely travel very far; So all your deepest questions but a song; How do some people not know where they are? And lo, these hadn't traveled very far; All hand-in-hand about me in a ring And chanting about knowing where we are; A daisy chain of children circling. They sang and danced about me in a ring, And prized me of the lore of Tir na nOg; Made to unearth me by their circling, As if they'd found me buried in a bog. In this unchanging land of Tir na nOg, It's always now; there's no uncertainty; And though our dreams were buried in a bog, They are preserved for all posterity. It's always now? Yes! No uncertainty! I dwelt there for a year one afternoon, And so reserve for all posterity, This standing invitation to commune. The trolling lanes have been absolved of clouds; I run before the wind, my heart ablaze; I gimbal 'round this world all free of shrouds; Content to count my blessings, and my days. back to list |
Chronic Mollyletting some things slip away things I said but never meant holding some things very near idle moments well misspent things I said but never meant dreams I had in days of old idle moments well misspent secrets kept and never told dreams I had in days of old rummage sale of memories secrets kept and never told sorting through my fantasies rummage sale of memories holding some things very near sorting through my fantasies letting some things slip away back to list |
Maureen MurphyI sent my child into yonder meadow, my prayers laid upon him by trembling lips. An angst-filled moment infused with sorrow, ruing this challenge writ into life's script. A soft southern breeze lent balm to my lips, while summer's sun embraced me with solace. Still worry persisted to lord my script; my steps circling paths, driven and restless. Was the meadow tending care and solace as my child ran through its grass and flowers? Was it impatient, or even restless to have twilight evict these pilgrim hours? Where was my child in the grass and flowers? Perhaps rescuing crickets from their toil? Was he caching treasures for later hours, before sleep could visit and dreams could boil? I rubbed my forehead to temper thoughts' toil, as a young child's echo breached the soft breeze. And in the white halo made by sun's boil, my son raced forward, calling out to me. Breathless, soiled, running fast as the breeze, his joy-drenched face erased worry's sorrow. His litany of finds made without me, were seeds of faith from a mother's meadow. ----- Obsessive Reflections In lonely hours, I imagine I know you intimately. And like Rembrandt or Henri, I arrange my tools and set to paint differing views of your traits and shades of eccentricity. I pretend I have the eyes of Rembrandt or Henri, while posing memory's words as models; your traits' textures and shades of eccentricity borrowed from spoken blends of verbs and vowels, I've remembered. Posed as my models, your words provide vision to my eager hands; your spoken blend of verbs and vowels guiding my brushstrokes to submit to their command. The art of your words feeding vision to my hands; a colorful prosody defining the magma of your soul. My brushstrokes servile to their command; eagerly painting your godliness, to extol the man gifted with rich magma and fertile soul. For through my paintings, each with a differing view, your godliness will speak. A gallery meant to extol a hungry heart that saw and knew the colored prosody of you. back to list |
Peggy NelsonLonely souls across the river Begging for closer affection voices quiver, bodies shiver Gazing at the bridge erection Begging for closer affections Closing gaps between love and hate lonely souls across the river Enticing and soothing natures fate Enticing and soothing natures fate Down the path lively trees now sway Closing gaps between love and hate Walking across the bridge by the bay -----  Dear One Dear one, keep this Rose while I'm not here To bring pleasurable peace giving feelings Smell the fragrant rose and release the fear Through life's discomforts that are unappealing To bring pleasurable, peace giving feelings Think of delightful times we have shared, Through life's discomforts that were unappealing Knowing my soul is there and I've always cared ----- Thought Of Hope Thoughts of hopes and some regrets, I’ve moved from here to there. Songs played a melody of love, songs never will I forget. I’ve been lonely when arms were bare. I’ve moved from here to there. I’ve shed some tears from painful deceit. I’ve been lonely when arms were bare. Dreams and wishes keep me far from defeat. I’ve shed some tears from painful deceit. Time faded away past deaths sorrows. Dreams and wishes keep me far from defeat. I keep praying for more thrilling tomorrows. Time faded away past deaths sorrows. The sweetest songs will always glide through. I keep praying for more thrilling tomorrows. In my mind and heart I have felt truth so true. The sweetest songs will always glide through. Songs played a melody of love, songs never will I forget. In my mind and heart I have felt truth so true. ~Thoughts of hopes and some regrets~ ----- Touching Times Touching Times like these to relax with friends Sharing thoughts while dining and wining Not wanting precious moments to end Refreshing our views to a positive beginning Sharing thoughts while dining and wining Later in life to examine the recall Life's explorations and benefiting meaning Admiring positive and letting harm fall Thankful for the laughter, sadness and happiness Not wanting precious moments to end At the "Tir Na Nog" Buffet of joyfulness Touching times like these, were relaxing with friends ----- Your Time Your time has meant alot for the love only you can give You have always been sought You will always be here to survive For the love only you can give A place to met, a special time You will always be here to survive There will always be time for a Rhyme A place to met, a special time in times of bitterness or love we face There will always be time for a Rhyme Many times and many places Proud yet, humble you seem to be You have always been sought For the love and kindness we see Your time has meant alot back to list |
Ryter RoethicleWe travel through our lives Each leaving behind our trails Like wagon wheels on the virgin plains Or footprints in the fresh beach sand Each leaving behind our trails The wind will raise the grass Or footprints in the fresh beach sand The tide will wash away our sin The wind will raise the grass They will be harvested soon The tide will wash away our sin And the fields will become dust. They will be harvested soon So the seasons go, as do we And the fields will become dust So that the circle may begin again ----- Doubt For a while the moon hides behind the clouds Hesitant to show her face because she knows What will happen when we lift the shrouds When all of her secrets become exposed. Hesitant to show her face because she knows There is no mystery with love only secrets When all of her secrets become exposed, Then all too often decisions become regrets. There is no mystery with love only secrets, That oft have a way of ignoring what is true. Then all too often decisions become regrets, And what was thought wise begin to rue. That oft have a way of ignoring what is true. This is human, when we should look about And what was thought wise we begin to rue, Creating blackness and encouraging doubt This is human, when we should look about Realising that the absence of moon leaves us Creating blackness and encouraging doubt. Instead sleep in comfort in that darkness. ----- Golden Rays Golden rays strike the Earth, yet do not bounce The wintry soil reluctantly accepts the sun Even though too rare is seen this solar pounce Preferred dull skies and days of clouds have begun. The wintry soil reluctantly accepts the sun And for a while rekindled warmth remembered. Preferred dull skies and days of clouds have begun And sounds of falling rain too rarely heard. And for a while rekindled warmth remembered. Then prayers for "Old time winters ring out" And sounds of falling rain too rarely heard, Will raise our hopes and out of happiness shout. ----- Jungles How much freer is the jungle of reality At home amongst the hardwood trees? I feel the energy seeping back into me In this lush shelter, I can do as I please. At home amongst the hardwood trees Civilisation has not left its bitter scar. In this lush shelter, I can do as I please Its here I will build my final gunyah. Civilisation has not left its bitter scar The wounds are in the jungle of my mind. Its here I will build my final gunyah Here I will rest till eternal peace I find. ----- Knight to Queen In my dreams I can feel you there Knowing then I was not alone I drift through space to bring you here And place you upon a throne. Knowing then I was not alone You are my Queen of Hearts, I swear And place you upon a throne. I am your knight and am prepared You are my Queen of Hearts, I swear And will defend you and your honour I am your knight and am prepared What else is there you are my amore? ----- One Special Day Time spent together goes by in blurs One special day's gone in an hour Hardly savouring what occurs Fun time together has this power. One special day's gone in an hour There's no regrets, with time well spent Fun time together has this power. The Gods have given this simple present There's no regrets, with time well spent There's no regrets, with this endeavour The Gods have given this simple present Of memories that will last forever. ----- Penang Dawn All I have to do is open my door A table and chair's all I need mostly From here I can see the dawn arise My body is still set on Melbourne time. A table and chair are all I need mostly There's no birdsounds I am ahead of them My body is still set on Melbourne time As I hear the first soundings, I see the light. There's no birdsounds I am ahead of them Just for a while each nest holds a silent feast As I hear the first soundings, I see the light. As from forest clad mountain a light appears Just for a while each nest holds a silent feast Then a cacophony of sound breaks out As from forest clad mountain a light appears Then an avian symphony of sound breaks out. Then a cacophony of sound breaks out The bridge only lit by headlights emerges Then an avian symphony of sound breaks out As the rising sun wakes the flora from slumber The bridge only lit by headlights emerges Too soon civilisation rears its ugly head As the rising sun wakes the flora from slumber And I reluctantly rise returning to Earth again ----- Tonight's Menu What is thy taste of me, salty perhaps? Whilst thou are of the sweetest things Yet one that causes no dietary collapse Such ingredients may give angels wings Whilst thou are of the sweetest things I am more mundane, not fitting thy feast. Such ingredients may give angels wings Whilst mine created the grounded beast. I am more mundane, not fitting thy feast. Tis hoped my humble self pleaseth thee. Whilst mine created the grounded beast Heaven created your tasty body Tis hoped my humble self pleaseth thee, With savoury nips saved for you alone. Heaven created your tasty body for me You've provided me with a heavenly throne. ----- We who have loved We who have loved so well Yet by cruel Fate are apart You left me so early my love And tore away my bleeding heart Love had not reached its zenith Yet so strong did our love grow You presence here is not a myth There's nothing surer that I know I hear your words whispered to me As you still come to me every night You stayed around to help me see And made sure I did what was right. One final time I saw your form Telling me it's time to move on One final kiss so soft and warm A fading shadow, then you've gone ----- Yearning for the night The poignancy of my memory Is acute as I see the night begin My lover's spirit returns to me. As soon as darkness closes in As soon as I see the night begin I know my loneliness is felt more As soon as darkness closes in I miss you walking through the door. I know my loneliness is felt more With music, or port, or a glass of wine I miss you walking through the door. And little things that said, your mine. With music, or port, or a glass of wine Seeing faces and events from the past And little things that said, your mine. Making promises that love would last Seeing faces and events from the past Sometimes with confusing imagery. Making promises that love would last Invade my consciousness randomly Sometimes with confusing imagery. Recourse to dreams in a surreal setting Invade my consciousness randomly Finally with dawn my sanity getting Recourse to dreams in a surreal setting Is gone when I see the morn begin And with dawn my sanity getting Waiting until darkness closes in!! ----- Zested If it is my pain or sorrow that you crave I once collected a bottle full of my tears One, each time you said goodbye, I'd save, Then one day I had a sea of salty spheres. I once collected a bottle full of my tears Each one a dead heart drop that fell for you Then one day I had a sea of salty spheres. It multiplied, and colonized, as it grew…. Each one a dead heart drop that fell for you Within that bottle was my life of such intensity It multiplied, and colonized, as it grew Creating whirlpools in a tideless sea. Within that bottle was my life of such intensity I took the bottle to the beach to pour Creating whirlpools in a tideless sea, I sat and watched the creatures from the shore. I took the bottle to the beach to pour The life born of my sorrow in the bay. I sat and watched the creatures from the shore. Perhaps my tears will swim to you one day. The life born of my sorrow in the bay. Worlds of life exist where none appears Perhaps my tears will swim to you one day. For life persists within that world of tears. back to list |
Leny RooversI feel your presence in my mind and heart. When I wake up, until I close my eyes, a flow of inner conversation starts- I listen to your voice and sound advice. I know you're in my body and my soul. Your name is etched into my being's core- infused within my veins you make me whole; enfolded in one hand, we're en rapport. I bleed when you are cut and feeling pain- an extra sense developed through the years as thoughts we shared assembled in a chain, adorned with shining smiles and pearls of tears. Within the consciousness of love and time a flow of inner conversation starts; we'll reach our summit after this life's climb- I feel your presence in my mind and heart.. ----- Flowers I feel the flower of each breath unfurl as deep within my belly, it is born. Then, slowly rising on my straightened spine, my seven chakras bloom as they align. As deep within my belly it is born, my being's core is reaching out to you. Each inhalation feeds an inner need for growth and nurture of your planted seed. My being's core is reaching out to you, I feel I am accepted in your realm; my ears are now attuned to hear your voice- I listen to your name and I rejoice. I feel I am accepted in your realm as flowers of each breath have come to bloom, when in the garden of my mind you stand, inviting me to share our promised land. ----- Locking eyes I've never loved like this before, it is a love that doesn't ask, but gives and thus receives much more- I've bared my soul, took of my mask. It's with a love that doesn't ask I stand before you, locking eyes; I've bared my soul, took of my mask, there's no more need for a disguise. I stand before you, locking eyes, I read your heart as you read mine, there's no more need for a disguise, our souls will share a single shrine. I read your heart as you read mine- an open channel between minds. Our souls now share a single shrine, no matter how Fate bends or winds. We built a channel between minds and never loved like this before, no matter how Fate bends or winds, in giving, we receive much more.  ----- Tadasana I stand and feel Earth's energy rise up to feed my body through my planted feet, it flows along the na-dis of my legs till in my lower belly, both streams meet. To feed my body through my planted feet, all senses focus on my quiet mind. I am attuning, so I can receive and rest, within the peace that I now find. All senses focused on my quiet mind, I feel enfolded in your warm embrace; I bow and touch my forehead on the floor, surrendering all thoughts into your grace. I feel enfolded in your warm embrace, my soul is waiting to connect with you; each heartbeat brings me closer to my goal, shines light onto the road I now pursue. My soul is waiting to connect with you, my body is the bridge between both worlds- I stand and feel Earth's energy rise up, enjoy the glorious sight which now unfurls. ----- Wings Against a cloudless evening sky as swallows dive in graceful flight, my soul is flying with them- high, in the stillness of sunset's light. As swallows dive in graceful flight, I listen to my love's soft words; in the stillness of sunset's light my heart grows wings, flies with the birds. I listen to my love's soft words, they bring him close to me each night. My heart grows wings, flies with the birds as space is bridged in shared delight. back to list |
Nia WynneIt comes to you on lifes shores The way roses adore opening for sun, Irresistable warmth and light is more An ocean beckoning your feet, go, run. Roses always adore blooming in the sun No matter where it's reflections arise, Ocean waves lap at limbs that run To meet their cooling embrace in guise. It matters not how images arise, Echo of souls, patches of snow, moons glow With met arms calming heat, thus guised Provide longing eyes with hearts now known. Souls echo angels in snow, purely glow, Charmed to know, invoked in bee's wings To find the friendly vine bloomed below Moonlight, sunshine, and there they sing, Charmed to know, invoked in bee's wings Irresistable warmth and light in more Celestial lights that make you wake up, to sing Of love that comes to you on lifes appealing shores. ----- Stormy Suddenly gusty blue skies retire In a gray cloak of clouds Where squalls of hail do conspire Many sheets of rain in thunders loud. In a gray cloak of clouds Lightning flashes in hopscotch dashes to sire Many sheets of rain in thunders loud Shooting across in gloomy robes of thoughts inspired. Lightning flashes in hopscotch dashes to sire Roars of crashing words spoken aloud Shooting across in gloomy robes of thought inspired By stormy nights, lovers quarrels and oaths avowed. ----- Victim of The Source What sorcery affected her this way Like a victiim of an unseen black spell Made bohemian as a ship, near quayed, Having sailed lonely waves of farewell swells. Like a victim of an unseen black spell, Her sailing dreams quayed in dry dock, Having sailed lonely waves of farewell swells, Her heart hypnotized by loves luck. Her sailiing dreams quayed in dry dock, No more will to try the last key, Her heart hypnotized by loves luck, A lock on treasure none dared see. No more will to try the last key Since it was lost under ships aft, A lock on treasure none dared see, An ocean sway, a spell of craft. What sorcery affected her this way Was a swell of affection'd mind Made bohemian as a ship near quayed, To be released by touching dulcet winds. back to list |
|
|
