2007 Form Challenges

#4 Than Bauk

In view of the Haikus popularity in the West, and the rising interest in Asian poetry, it's surprising that the Than Bauk is not more popular. The Than Bauk consists of three lines of four syllables that should be witty. The nickname for this form of poetry, could be "Stairway", because of the rhyme steps through the poem. Here is the basic rhyme scheme:
O. O. O. a.
O. O. a. O.
O. a. O. b.
O. O. b. O.
O. b. O. c.
O. O. c. O.
O. c. O. etc.


You can see from this that it forms a descending step, and at this point it can be terminated. You have twelve syllables to work with, and it could be very hard work. It seems be much easier if a longer poem were made. If this is the case, the practice is that the last syllable of the third line starts the next descent as shown below:
FTRA
(Freight Train Riders of America)

Down by the rails
soup in pails, hot
train wails, main line
life is fine, see
cheap wine, the world
in a whirl: life
unfurled bedroll
place with soul. Sleep
the goal: seek life
etc

Dana Rowe
Trewir takes a different tack, and instead of continuing with the staircase, she maintains a strict 12 syllable stanza, and uses the last syllable to link the next stanza, and create a new staircase, rather like as if each stanza led to a floor of a building, with it's own unique picture.
O. O. O. a.
O. O. a. O.
O. a. O. b.

O. O. O. b.
O. O. b. O.
O. b. O. c.

O. O. O. c.
O. O. c. O.
O. c. O. etc.


Act One

We ran, we walked
Held hands, talked life.
Soft mocked love words.

We felt the words,
Of the birds song.
Words heard and sang.

Love songs we sang.
The phone rang; hi
Heard bang; no sound.

etc

Trewir Wintlek


Than Bauk Challenge Replies



Lorraine Dafney

Rehearsal

Ryter Roethicle

Dreams
Twisting Eternity
What good are dreams
Wishing

Dana Rowe

Conscience

Nicola Wynter

Sun

Trewir Wintlek

Act One


Lorraine Dafney

Rehearsal

On the way to
the brand new show
on cue they clapped

back to list

Ryter Roethicle

Dreams

I dream of you
nightly views, much
ado's of love.

Night dreams of love
each speaks of you
above all else.

I dream, what else?
a mad pulse beats
repulse me not.

To dream or not
my wish brought you
this spot please stay.

-----

Twisting Eternity

Twisting eternity
life.s debris flows
as keys to more
men explore still
ignore the truth.

What is the truth
word of mouth told
the sooth warped
a small shred left
instead of whole.

And thus the whole
changes goal now
some soul moving
adapting in
twisting eternity.

-----

What good are dreams

what good are dreams
escape means sleep
which seems excess
when that stress is
distress from love.

-----

Wishing

I'd like to drink
and then sink in
eyes, thinking of
you and love and
loveproof my heart.

I'd like to touch
you so much now
in such a way
you will stay here
and lay with me.

Please stay with me
let us see what
can be tonight
no more flight stay
the night with me.

back to list

Dana Rowe

Conscience

Conscience flowing
life running on
we sing and chant
life takes cant well
you rant mantras
arias flow
alas, current
river sent runs
your pent guilt waits
carries fate's flow
dam gates open
water sends clear
clean yen to soul.

back to list

Nicola Wynter

Sun

The sun is white,
Such high bright orb
Relights lifes stores.

back to list

Trewir Wintlek

Act One

We ran, we walked
Held hands, talked life.
Soft mocked love words.

We felt the words,
Of the birds song.
Words heard and sang.

Love songs we sang.
The phone rang; hi
Heard bang; no sound.

Fear of the sound,
Home ward bound; shook.
folks round by her.

Shocked I saw her.
Cop words slur, heard.
Life blurs, they've sinned.

Rot for you've sinned!
Now back friend, see
He grins, he's changed.

Love thoughts, he changed.
shots close range; yikes!
He's strange, I run.

gone, I did run.
He‘s no fun; freed.
Act one, we're done.

back to list




Any Comments or Suggestions, please email me

2007 Poetry Challenge
The Poets Garret
Tir Na nOg Poetry Community